This post has moved to http://www.lifetimegymnast.com/my-gymnastics-rings - please go there for gymnastics updates.

This post has moved to http://www.lifetimegymnast.com/how-to-hold-a-handstand - please go there for gymnastics updates.

This week I found the best video I have seen in a long time. It is a beautiful illustration of the power of empathy to change the world, one relationship at a time. The movie is called validation and is a bit of a play on words - the setting points to free parking validation but the main character validates people using empathy and compliments to help them smile. I enjoyed it very much, it is very uplifting for anyone that likes to be encouraged (I don’t know anyone who doesn’t!).

I was inspired by the movie and attracted two different experiences that same day which emphasized the miraculous emotional healing that empathy can provide in relationships.

My wife Candice had been outside in the heat (yes heat, this is Phoenix in Nov) with one of our kids at a field trip with 47 1st-3rd graders that day (during her moon cycle), so she was a bit out of sorts. All the kids seemed to be asking her for things at once while she was getting dinner ready and she was trying to tell me about her frustrating day.

I really didn’t want to hear about it, but I made a conscious decision to show empathy by repeating what she had said in my own words - “You’ve been through a lot today and you just want a break, with some peace and quiet.”

Candice instantly lit up and gave me a big hug, then she didn’t say anything more about it - I was amazed!

Later while eating dinner Nickalus (who is 2) came to me crying:

“Bupaheay!
Bubahed!!
Bupaheyad!!!”

Finally I got the idea - “Oh, did you bump your head?”
“Yeaaah…” (as he nodded emphatically).
“That’s a bummer.” I replied, at which point he promptly calmed down and walked away.

It was as if I waved a magic wand and mended broken hearts with my words! Incredible!

I found an interesting book yesterday which uses empathy as part of the initial steps in the advice given to help people get their ex back. If you watch the first video on the page describing the Magic of Making Up, you’ll see how empathy is used in that situation - though it goes a bit further in agreeing with the other side of an argument, but the essence of showing an understanding of their position is really empathy at work - like magic.

We had a birthday party for our youngest child yesterday and something happened which reinforced the middle name we gave him.  Candice had bought a birthday cake that morning and I put it on the counter by the stove pushed against the back wall in a corner of the kitchen.  About an hour later, while I was outside cleaning up the yard, Candice came out of the house holding Hani out by his arms while he wiggled like the whirling dervish that he is, and said:

“This is why you don’t put cake on the counter!”

While Candice was on the phone, Hani had come to her holding the cake upside down (luckily it was in a plastic container he couldn’t open) and shaking it, saying “Cake!  Cake!” - apparently he had moved a chair from the table across the room to the counter right where the cake was in the back corner, then just climbed up and retrieved his prize.

Hani’s middle name is Fungasa, which means “liberate yourself”.  I took his picture (above) a few days ago while he was practicing his Harley style of freedom.

You can get help finding your own freedom here.

First let me provide some context for this story. As you can see below, we have a collection of messy eaters. We leave food on the table after meals because the kids may return to finish it later. In this picture I found Hani cleaning up after everyone’s breakfast (he was hungry that day). There’s a tablecloth on in this picture but Nickalus used to use tablecloths to pull everyone’s bowl to him (the ones that didn’t fall off the table on the way) before he learned to get out of his seat, so we stopped using tablecloths except for special occasions.

As you can imagine the table gets layers of encrusted food (sort of like stalagmites) that get thicker over time and become very difficult to clean. One day when Candice was talking with a preschool teacher, she learned about a good way to clean up tables with shaving cream.

I even saw Demitri’s kindergarten teacher using shaving cream on a table with the students so they could write letters in it at the parents night last fall. So we decided we would make a game of it and have all the kids clean the table one Sunday morning before breakfast. We put all the kids at the table and squirted a bunch of shaving cream on it and told them to play in it. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves and I got a few good pictures.

Nickalus got some on his face and decided to try and lick it off - luckily his tongue is not long enough to reach. He must have gotten into some leftover pizza before breakfast that day, which explains the red sauce all over his face.

Then Demitri had the great idea to wash his hair with the shaving cream - which is fine since then we didn’t need to use shampoo later

Then Nickalus wanted to be like Demitri - or was it Nickalus who started it? I can’t remember. But Nickalus’ hair is so fine that he didn’t need any water to make suds.

Finally, after about half an hour of “cleaning” the table and subsequent baths in the sink for at least a couple of the kids (the ones with shaving cream in their hair also got their hair washed), we wiped up the table and it was so clean you could see your reflection in it!

We got the movie “Wall-E” for Christmas this past year, and the kids really love it.  We’ve seen it over a dozen times in the past few months.  One day when the kids were bored Candice got creative and told them they could make a Wall-E costume so they could play Wall-E (which means try to act, speak, dress, walk, and anything else like that character - in this case Wall-E).  So with their help and suggestions, she took an old laundry hamper and cut holes in it for the arms, head, and the door in the front (where he carried items in the movie, like the plant).  I took some pictures of our oldest son (who is 7) Kayin modeling the costume, which they have enjoyed for a few weeks now (even the babies try it on).

Here is a picture of Kayin standing up in the costume. This is like when Wall-E is riding around on his treads exploring the world. Candice used some electrical tape to keep the edges of the holes from tearing more and it’s a nice border. With these colors it is a little like a pumpkin costume, but we didn’t have a dirty yellow colored one (which would match Wall-E’s paint better).

In the next picture (to the left) Kayin is showing how the costume looks when Wall-E closes up into a box, to protect him when he is scared or when a dust storm is passing through. This is a rather round box, but that’s ok - some things are easy for children to imagine.

Finally, below Kayin is demonstrating the front door into which all sorts of treasures can be collected and deposited.

This version of the costume has no “floor”, so anything placed into the compartment will just fall to the ground, but that could be an improvement in version 2. The front flap is made from a piece of cardboard that is attached to the opening with electrical tape (or maybe black duct tape, I don’t remember). Like many of the best toys, this costume was home-made.

This is a poem that I wrote to my Grandma Pat Walker who is dearly called Grammy. I wrote if for her 50th Wedding Annivesary this month. Hope you enjoy it as much as she did.
—Candice

Grammy Knows
by Candice Davis

“Grammy Knows…”
She says to me.
Brown eyes determined.
Brow crinkling up with aging wisdom.
Warm full lips smile
A heart filled with Love, Laughter, Life.

“Grammy Knows”
I ponder it.
Knows the love of one man for 50 years.
Knows that burnt first suppers turn into
Finger smacking-fried chicken
And pots of shrimp fried rice.

“Grammy Knows”
I ponder it.
Knows the joy that labor brings.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…no 7 beautiful beings
On wings of love sent from above.
Knows the tears.
The fears
The prayers
The cheers
When all is said and grown.

“Grammy Knows”
I ponder it.
Knows holding loved one’s hand till the end.
Knows Popsicles make stitches remove easier.
Knows band-aids and bicycles are mother’s Best friends.
Knows when to let go
And when to let God.

“Grammy Knows”
I ponder it.
Knows that love comes in all
Shapes.
Sizes.
Colors.
Races.
Religions.
Whether you be
A plant.
A dog.
A husband.
A child
A adopted great-grandson
A daughter-in-law
A creature of this Earth.

GRAMMY KNOWS…LOVE.

“Grammy Knows…”
She says to me.
Brown eyes determined.
Brow crinkling up with aging wisdom.
Warm full lips smile
A heart filled with love, laughter, life.

“Grammy Knows.”
I ponder it…
That I may know it too
One day.

Yesterday I woke up in the morning and spent a few moments thinking about things I appreciate. My thoughts naturally moved to the hawks living in the treetops of our neighborhood, because I’d been wanting to get some good pictures of them to share ever since Candice caught them stretched out in the sun a week ago (once I came outside they were gone). So I was feeling good and imagining what they must look like in the morning when they open their wings to feel the sun, and I was remembering the times I had seen dozens of them flying over our house.

A few hours later, after helping get a few groceries inside from the car, I looked up and saw this:

Luckily they posed for me long enough to get a picture:) After they were done stretching, they took off, and I got another good picture of them below:

I love watching the birds. If you’d like to attract some more beautiful birds into your yard you can try using some Wild Bird Food Recipes.

This post has moved to http://www.lifetimegymnast.com/my-gymnastics-mushroom - please go there for gymnastics updates.

Hello again,

After a several month hiatus I’ve been inspired to add to this blog again.  I will start by introducing my easy button.  I’m including a picture of it below for those in other countries who aren’t familiar with Staples or their USA based advertising themes.  I mentioned it to a client of mine in the U.K. and although they have staples there he hadn’t heard of it.

When you push the button there is a recording that says “That was easy!” - I have it on my desk and push it whenever I figure out a solution to something or get done with a task I set for myself.  It helps me to feel confident that I can do anything, because everything is easy once I figure it out:)

Candice has one in the kitchen, and I tell Kayin (our 6 yr old) to take mine with him whenever he complains that he can’t do something - like when he says he can’t get to the next level in a video game.

If you go to staples.com and search for easy button you can get one yourself if you want - they even have one in spanish now.